Pleasing myself.

This weekend with a minor break down/break though. I came to a few realizations with T’s help.

In the last few weeks, I’ve been sad for a few reasons:

1. My friends are few and far between.
2. I feel lost and need to find my plan B.

Most of my friends don’t live around here. I have a few acquaintances which have potential to be better friends, but I don’t always reach out. I automatically assume individuals are too busy and they may be, but who am I to say? Unless I ask, I’ll never know.

Also, I don’t network or make friends easily. I need to get out there and meet people. It is something that I’ve tried before, but admittedly with no success. I am a little shy in that respect and usually let people come to me. But, since that isn’t working, I am on a mission.

Today was a little slow at work. With some extra time and my recent realization, I found two book clubs, a few pilates and yoga classes, and a graduate program which interests me. Hopefully that will open a few doors.

I also found a graduate program that interests me, looking into the possibility of taking a class in the fall – to try it out.

Lets see what happens with plan B.

Plowing thru my list.

So, 19 days after my negative (But who is counting?) and I am plowing thru my negative list.

1. Get rid of unused G*nal-f pen. I've offered it to a friend of a co-worker and if she doesn't need it. I must get creative.

Co-worker's friend not on G*nal-f. Contacted one other person that I know of in real life (another friend of a friend). Honestly, I am only attempting to do this this way since I don't know of the legal rammifications of doing it another way. i guess I could call R*solve and see if they have a donation program. Any one have any experience with this?

2. Clean up and package Cl*ar Bl*e F*rtility M*nitor. Give to sister. (Yeah, they probably will start trying in a year or so after the wedding.)

Haven't done this yet. The girl is on her honeymoon. But I also need to figure out how to get the stored information (so that I can keep for just in case). Any one out there with prior experience and knowledge?

3. Call primary care for birth control prescription.

I did this, and have been on the magical pill for a week. The meds were given to me after a mandatory pregnancy test and mental health check up. Adding insult to injury on both counts. I am not crazy for going on the pill! Crap people have thought I was crazy for doing procedures, now others are wondering if I am nuts for stopping. Last time I checked, I am mentally sane just infertile. Remember, my hoohaha and connecting parts is where the problem lies.

4. Ask Mel to move me to "Child Free" Category.
Did this today.

5. Figure out what to do with the rest of my life.

This one I am taking one day at a time. There are many things that I've been mulling around. I think it will be a slow process. I should break it up into steps.

First step is to regain my interests. Sounds like something that I shouldn't have to work on, but I realized recently that infertility has consumed me in many ways. So, I am trying to rekindle my interests. Blog reading has worked in consuming, so I thought that it might help me in a more positive way. As a result, I've added a few new non fertility related blogs.

More steps will follow - I need to figure them out first.