I would like to have a long guttural SCREAM. The kind associated with horror flicks, but not because I am being tortured, terrorized or harmed. But to get out my deep frustration with everything, the feeling that I am about to jump out of my skin, and to release the rage that my hormones are causing.
That scream or my period, might take my PMS away. I really want AF to visit soon, before we leave for our vacation. I could cry. Another PMS symptom. Why can't my reproductive system EVER play nice? And could my PMS be worse, because this would be the end of the eight follicle cycle?
I would like to go home, put on some gym clothes and sneakers, and walk for miles. So that I could at least be physically exhausted. Instead, I went for a fifteen minute walk. It helped a little, but I am still so tense.
Showing posts with label Vent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vent. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
BLESSINGS
My friends are blessings.
"Some People come into our lives and quickly go.
Some People stay awhile and we are never the same."
My friends are the latter. I will never be the same with them in my lives, for this I am grateful.
I have two groups of friends. My Real friends and my Vent friends.
(Please note that the names I have come up with are no reflection of anything, except my inability to be more creative. Real, only because I will see my real friends in real life. My Vent friends are in the cyber world, more than likely, I will never meet them in person. Doesn't mean they are any less my friends.)
My Real friends, I have known forever, a minimum of twelve years. They know me inside and out. They listen, they try to help, and they know where I am coming from. During my trying to conceive saga, they have done all these things, but something was missing. This was no reflection of them, it was me.
In January of this year, in desperation, I found my Vent friends. These are women all experiencing the trying to conceive saga. Some for as long as I, some for longer, some have completed many more procedures than I, and some have gone through less. But, they all are going/have been through the same thing. They listen, sometimes have advice, other times, they send there cyber hugs and words of encouragement.
I realized today, that God has blessed me with both of my groups of friends. They both help me daily. They listen, encourage, push me on, and for all of that, I am grateful.
For both groups, I feel: joyous for their victories, sad for their disappointments, devastated for life's unfairness, and ecstatic for life's blessings.
Why is that I must separate the two?
For my Real friends, I pray that they never experience infertility. They are able to get pregnant if and when they want to, that they experience a healthy pregnancy, birth, and child.
For my Vent friends, I pray that we are blessed to experience mother hood through a healthy pregnancy, birth and child, soon.
This is why I must separate my blessings, I need different blessings for them.
"Some People come into our lives and quickly go.
Some People stay awhile and we are never the same."
My friends are the latter. I will never be the same with them in my lives, for this I am grateful.
I have two groups of friends. My Real friends and my Vent friends.
(Please note that the names I have come up with are no reflection of anything, except my inability to be more creative. Real, only because I will see my real friends in real life. My Vent friends are in the cyber world, more than likely, I will never meet them in person. Doesn't mean they are any less my friends.)
My Real friends, I have known forever, a minimum of twelve years. They know me inside and out. They listen, they try to help, and they know where I am coming from. During my trying to conceive saga, they have done all these things, but something was missing. This was no reflection of them, it was me.
In January of this year, in desperation, I found my Vent friends. These are women all experiencing the trying to conceive saga. Some for as long as I, some for longer, some have completed many more procedures than I, and some have gone through less. But, they all are going/have been through the same thing. They listen, sometimes have advice, other times, they send there cyber hugs and words of encouragement.
I realized today, that God has blessed me with both of my groups of friends. They both help me daily. They listen, encourage, push me on, and for all of that, I am grateful.
For both groups, I feel: joyous for their victories, sad for their disappointments, devastated for life's unfairness, and ecstatic for life's blessings.
Why is that I must separate the two?
For my Real friends, I pray that they never experience infertility. They are able to get pregnant if and when they want to, that they experience a healthy pregnancy, birth, and child.
For my Vent friends, I pray that we are blessed to experience mother hood through a healthy pregnancy, birth and child, soon.
This is why I must separate my blessings, I need different blessings for them.
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