I've been thinking thinking about forgiving my body. The question that continously comes into my mind is how do you forgive something that cannot ask for forgiveness?
In my school of thought you need to make peace with it.
Last November, my Yoga teacher had us do a practice which required us to name one thing about our body that we were grateful for. At the time, I thought not much - all I could see were its failures. But, I couldn't share that.
So I delved deeper in to what I was grateful - my eyes.
After all, it was right after my eye surgery. I was realizing the enormous benefits of seeing 20/20.
A few weeks later, after my co-worker who had the same procedure as I took over a month to heal. I was grateful that it took me three days.
By March, I was ecstatic that my eyes had healed to 20/15.
As I look at this, maybe just maybe, this was my peace offering. It could just be that my body is saying - Sorry.
As the bitter person that I am. I'm not ready to accept this peace offering. Instead, I am seeking more. Testing the true remorse.
In October, when I first joined the gym. It was invigorating to run on the treadmill. It was awesome to feel my body tingle after the exercise. But as time went on I forgot those feelings.
Today, I was reminded. After feeling frustrated with work. I went at lunch to the gym for a half hour. And I felt that exiliration. Affirmation that I/it was indeed alive and willing to work.
Which left me feeling calm and peaceful. (I could just need a nap?)
My body did the work, so that my mind could find peace. A ying and yang of sorts.
What I am trying to say is at this exact moment, I feel grateful for being able to release my stress through running. I feel grateful that my body allowed me to do this. I am grateful that it responded with this calming effect.
It could very well be that I've found the door to my forgiveness.
N.B. Please do not worry. After realizing my previous post and this one - I know that I should do this more often and will.