Confession

Why is it that I feel when I admit that we are going thru infertility it is a confession?

Today, at a Bridal Shower, while I was sitting next to the only pregnant person in the room. Well, because it was the only seat available. I realized that there was only one person in the room who knew besides me of our dealings with infertility.

While, I was sitting there my mother-in-law and I were chatting along with the rest of the women in my husband's family. I hardly feel close to these women, except for the one who knows. And I hardly feel guilty that the majority do not know.

However, as I was being introduced to an old family friend as T's wife and that all important question was posed to me by my mother-in-law. "When are you having children?"

I thought quickly of my options. 1. I've been diagnosed with high testosterone and don't ovulate without medication. Also we have started going thru infertility treatments. 2. It really isn't any of your business. 3. We're working on it.

I choose number three. Thinking while saying it that telling my mother-in-law maybe need to be done before the family wedding in October.

It feels like I'm confessing a dirty secret. Not sure why. I'm not embarassed about the diagnosis. But, we don't have a close relationship. She is my husband's mother. However, they aren't very close either.

How I wish we would just get lucky soon so that I wouldn't have to make any more confessions to people that I don't feel inclined to share with.