Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Definition of Break

After reading my previous post, a definition of break (for me) is needed.

We don't pursue the medicated IUIs. I continue with the fertility monitor and if by some miracle ovulate without medication we take advantage. After all it would be remis of us not to take advantage. (A free ovulation!)

Please note that I seriously doubt this will happen since I've ovulated once in the last nine months without medication and considering my prognosis of anovulation, it would be a miracle. But miracles happen.

The benefit of the break will be not to be on medication. Not to feel pregnancy symptoms at least for six months. To be able to think clearly. To regain a balance of life and feel less crazy/out of control. To be able to have hope that it will happen someday.

At this point, I don't seriously think it will happen. Therefore, before I am put thru additional treatments of IUI and stronger medication, I need to gain hope that it might be a possibility.

What do I plan on doing in the next six months? Blog, read blogs, read and write on the Vent board, relax, drink my wine, yoga, walk, read coping books on infertility, and maybe see a counselor specializing in infertility or seeing a hypnotist. (The last two are a little out of my usual scope of things, but I need to come to peace with things and calling for reinforcements seems like a good idea.)

Also, planning on finally finishing the letter to the Senator, my post on secondary insurance and finishing my own application, etc.

Wow, I feel like a weight has been lifted.


Anonymous said...

I felt a similar sense of a weight being lifted when D. and I decided to take a break. It's weird to be half-in, half-out of the IF world. But it's not bad. ((hugs))

Joei said...

You have my support 110%! Maybe you and dh should take a vacation during the holidays... something that children ARE NOT allowed to go on... Like a couples cruise or something like that... That might really give you something fun to look forward to.

I also urge you to see the therapist. I started to see one, and it really helped. It was just someone to talk to and to cry with. It is someone on your side that lets you talk and doesn't tell you stories about "miracle children".

Whatever you need, I'm here for you! As are all the venting room girls, I'm sure!

I love you!!