Friday, March 21, 2008

Easter 2008

Last year in anticipation of Easter I wrote this post.

It is funny what a difference a year makes. Last year, I was anxiety ridden over an invite to a friends’ home because I didn’t know how to answer the questions. This year, I could careless if they ask the question. Now, I have such a different knee jerk reaction. I will gladly answer it – truthfully.

“Oh we tried for years. We tried medications and procedures. No, we haven’t tried IVF. Mostly because I was not emotionally ready to go thru that procedure. We’ve decided to take a year off. We are trying out “living childfree.” And right now it seems to fit nicely. We will see how it goes.”

And if they have more questions, I have answers now.

Maybe my new found confidence has come from two separate incidents. Let me tell you about them.

Scene: New Year’s Eve. We were at T’s best friend’s home that he shares with his wife (my friend K) and four children. Another couple was there with their youngest. The conversation went like this:

Woman: How long have you two been married?
Me: Five years.
Woman: Do you have children? (Accompanied with look of judgment.)
Me: We tried for about three years.
T: Now, we are trying to see how life would be without kids.
Woman: Oh. (Look of horror.)
Me: (Serves you right.)

Scene: T’s Grandmother’s deathbed. T’s cousin (a new father to a 10 month old boy) came to pay his respects and begins to boast about his son. He turns to T and asks so when will you two try?

T: We did, for a long time.
C: Oh, how long?
Aunt: Did you try IVF?
Me: Three years. We did everything but. It is the next step procedurally.
T: We are taking the year off. And we will figure out what we want to do then. IVF, adopt or live without children.
Aunt: But you never know, you’re young.
Me: We have less than 0.02% chance conceiving naturally.
Aunt: Oh. (Looking at me with horror.)

I guess, I am at the point where I almost want people to ask the question. So that I can be honest, and make them feel as uncomfortable as they make me feel. This isn’t the nice side of Dianne. Oh well!

On that note, enjoy your Easter Holiday. And may it be full with love, blessings, and holiness.


Susan said...

Sometimes people ask the stupidest questions, if they don't want to hear the reply, then they shouldn't ask.

Same thing with me and JR, why aren't you guys living together yet.

Well because I don't. THERE!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Since when is telling the truth not nice? I mean, they asked a question. They got the only answer.

loribeth said...

I agree -- if they ask, they should be prepared for the answer!! Wish I could be more like you!

A said...

I love it! Sometimes the truth is uncomfortable. Doesn't mean we chose it, but hey, thanks for asking, and here's some uncomfortable-ness right back at-cha! *snicker*

I admire your courage to take the year off.

Cynthia said...

You know what, though, Dianne if they ask the question then they should be prepared for an honest answer. I don't think you should feel bad about that at all. :-)


Erin said...

I think telling the truth is perfectly appropriate, and that they would probably keep asking if you hadn't. You've probably also made them rethink saying "But you're still young", which may save someone else the heartache of hearing it from them!

Anonymous said...

Happy Easter, Dianne! You forgot the "full of chocolate" part. : )

Kir said...

you are wonderful and brave for answering like that. I did for my opinion do not ask a question if you are prepared for the answer. Right???
I hope no matter what happens, that you always know that what you are doing now is the RIGHT thing.
Happy Easter sweetie

The Beauty Junkie said...

Geez people are so insensitive.

Joei said...

you really seem at peace. wonderful! yes, people are ignorant. good for you for educating people! T really sounds like a wonderful husband! :)
Love ya!!