Last year in anticipation of Easter I wrote this post.
It is funny what a difference a year makes. Last year, I was anxiety ridden over an invite to a friends’ home because I didn’t know how to answer the questions. This year, I could careless if they ask the question. Now, I have such a different knee jerk reaction. I will gladly answer it – truthfully.
“Oh we tried for years. We tried medications and procedures. No, we haven’t tried IVF. Mostly because I was not emotionally ready to go thru that procedure. We’ve decided to take a year off. We are trying out “living childfree.” And right now it seems to fit nicely. We will see how it goes.”
And if they have more questions, I have answers now.
Maybe my new found confidence has come from two separate incidents. Let me tell you about them.
Scene: New Year’s Eve. We were at T’s best friend’s home that he shares with his wife (my friend K) and four children. Another couple was there with their youngest. The conversation went like this:
Woman: How long have you two been married?
Me: Five years.
Woman: Do you have children? (Accompanied with look of judgment.)
Me: We tried for about three years.
T: Now, we are trying to see how life would be without kids.
Woman: Oh. (Look of horror.)
Me: (Serves you right.)
Scene: T’s Grandmother’s deathbed. T’s cousin (a new father to a 10 month old boy) came to pay his respects and begins to boast about his son. He turns to T and asks so when will you two try?
T: We did, for a long time.
C: Oh, how long?
Aunt: Did you try IVF?
Me: Three years. We did everything but. It is the next step procedurally.
T: We are taking the year off. And we will figure out what we want to do then. IVF, adopt or live without children.
Aunt: But you never know, you’re young.
Me: We have less than 0.02% chance conceiving naturally.
Aunt: Oh. (Looking at me with horror.)
I guess, I am at the point where I almost want people to ask the question. So that I can be honest, and make them feel as uncomfortable as they make me feel. This isn’t the nice side of Dianne. Oh well!
On that note, enjoy your Easter Holiday. And may it be full with love, blessings, and holiness.