It is my birthday tomorrow. Yup....another year older. No big plans because well - my husband is working and I have no friends. :). Just kidding. I just have friends who live far away or who probably don't feel like going out (eight months pregnant). And I didn't ask.
Because, I'll be going to the movies by myself. And honestly, I am looking forward to it. I know, I sound crazy. But, I want this year to be the year that I do things either with people or without. That I don't hold myself back because I am going to do something alone. See, T works alot. And I need to get out there. So, no matter how insignificant it seems. It is a big deal.
The ironic part is that I used to be more like this, do things that I wanted to do regardless of who was coming with me or not. And the cruise allowed a safe place for me to do that again. It was really nice, I did what I wanted and got to see the man too. Heck he was usually in bed.
But, something changed. My relationship with T made me more dependent. And it isn't a bad thing. I love my husband and he and I plan on being married for a long time. But he works alot. And I get lonely. So, I will be doing things I want to do regardless. Because it might get me back to where I really like myself. When I was independent and in control.
So the movie tomorrow. And who knows what else. It is a step to being me. And grab back some good things that I lost along the way.