Friday, June 08, 2007

Another year.

It is my birthday tomorrow. Yup....another year older. No big plans because well - my husband is working and I have no friends. :). Just kidding. I just have friends who live far away or who probably don't feel like going out (eight months pregnant). And I didn't ask.

Because, I'll be going to the movies by myself. And honestly, I am looking forward to it. I know, I sound crazy. But, I want this year to be the year that I do things either with people or without. That I don't hold myself back because I am going to do something alone. See, T works alot. And I need to get out there. So, no matter how insignificant it seems. It is a big deal.

The ironic part is that I used to be more like this, do things that I wanted to do regardless of who was coming with me or not. And the cruise allowed a safe place for me to do that again. It was really nice, I did what I wanted and got to see the man too. Heck he was usually in bed.

But, something changed. My relationship with T made me more dependent. And it isn't a bad thing. I love my husband and he and I plan on being married for a long time. But he works alot. And I get lonely. So, I will be doing things I want to do regardless. Because it might get me back to where I really like myself. When I was independent and in control.

So the movie tomorrow. And who knows what else. It is a step to being me. And grab back some good things that I lost along the way.

19 comments:

Ann said...

There are many things I can't abide doing with other people, shopping being one of them. I need a lot of time alone, or else I feel like I'm a hamster frantically running on a wheel.

Lee said...

Hope you feel this 'friends' hug on your special day. Wish it could be a squeezy one. While you might never get to feel how tightly I can hug you in appreciation, please know I treasure all your thoughts, via blog and board. Your thoughts, wisdom and encouragement are what make you such a special friend. Happy birthday.... and if you do get off this rollercoaster, know that you've touched so many of us and I'll still be there for you.

Erin said...

Have a great birthday! I know what you mean about feeling more dependent after getting married. It's definitely not a bad thing, but it sure is different.

Don't forget to have some cake, too!!

Heather said...

Hope you have a super birthday, Sweetie!!

Adrienne said...

Happy birthday, Dianne! And enjoy your "me" time. Being alone can be very relaxing and rejuvenating.

PCOSMama said...

Happy Birthday! I love going to movies by myself! Every now and then I leave the hubby home with 'babysitting' duties and I go to a movie. It's nice and relaxing, you don't have to worry about someone asking you questions during the movie, and you can eat all the extra-buttery popcorn you want without worrying you look like a pig! Have fun!

Sara said...

Happy birthday! Enjoy your celebration. I love going to movies by myself.

TeamWinks said...

Happy Birthday, and enjoy the movie. What are you seeing?

LJ said...

I was just about to ask the same thing as Becky - What did you see?

Happy birthday sweetie...

Melissa said...

Happy Birthday Dianne!

I find myself nodding in agreement with you throughout this post. Marriage definately made me introverted and dependent...So, good for you for stepping out and finding the old you! :)

The Town Criers said...

You go, chickie :-) Going out to dinner by myself is still one of my favourite things to do. What can I say, I love my own company... :-) Seriously, happy birthday! From one gemini to another.

Reproductive Jeans said...

Happy Belated B-day! Hope it was a great day! I have not gone to the movies yet by myself, but I cant wait to do that!

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Happy Belated Birthday! I hope the movie was good and the solitude was relaxing! I love going to the movies alone.

Ellen K. said...

Happy belated birthday, Dianne! Hope the next year is wonderful for you.

Art said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dianne, maybe this year will be your year! enjoy your day X

dmarie said...

Hope you had a wonderful birthday.

Glitter said...

Happy Birthday (belated)...

As for feeling empowered. It's different when you do things like going to the movies by choice and are okay with it. It feels great. Very empowering if you ask me.

You know my offer for line dancing is always open : )

Sticky Bun said...

Happy (belated) birthday! I hope you had a wonderful day.

Also, I know exactly what you mean when you say that your relationship made you more dependent, but not in a bad way. Hubby did the same for me. One of my favorite books is "the little prince" and hubby always says that it's not that I'm dependent, it's that he tamed me. So, it sounds like you've been tamed by a wonderful man.

Happy birthday!

Piccinigirl said...

Hope your birthday was super and that you enjoyed that movie. I am so glad you are back and rested and happy. I've missed you and I promise to come by more often (work has been nuts)