Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Great, the Grand and the Ugly

If you are like me, and subjected to many a western, you'll understand that I had in my head "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" title in my head. But truth be told, two of the items are both really good, and only one topic is really UGLY!

The Great idea from Mel, the Commentathon. It has been so much fun and I love it. So much fun receiving comments from people whom I had not come across before. And I am also having a great time meeting others thru their blogs. Thank you Mel for creating this gathering of support!

The Grand, The Brain Tumor Society's Ride for Research . As many of you know, this occured May 20th. THANK YOU to all who donated. I cannot express to you how much it meant. The entire race raised so far $1,800,990. (By the way donations are still being accepted until September if you feel so inclined.) And our team, in honor of Bobby raised $16,248.00. Yes, we did exceed our goal and THANK YOU!

The Ugly. Yes, the post below instigated some more ugly acts. If it wasn't enough what had been said and done, she sunk to a new low in my opinion. After I waited six months to vent anything about the situation. After I was certain that I had chronicled the incidents without judgement. But to express my feelings. To put them into my pensieve. I got slapped in the face again by my former so called friend.

The events of the last few days have left me feeling in shock. She could not have been my friend, if she was she would find some respect remaining for what was our friendship. Instead, she preaches about wanting to be an adult and not to have been at fault. She insincerely apologizes, and then takes it back by posting on her blog. Then she tries to intimidate me by posting my post to her blog. She has pained me in a way that I did not think possible. It is a betrayal, yet again.

Sill, I have to much respect for what was and I will not be linking her blog to mine. But, the door is FOREVER sealed. Forgiveness will occur, but I can never forget.


Anonymous said...

You will find better friends - I know it sounds cliche, but it is true. I was lucky that I had already gone through the fire with my severe food allergies - none of my friends left me. The only person who left me behind was my brother and his wife, but they were always a bit high-falutin'.

You might even be amazed at who your new friends are going to be.



Joei said...

Last night (early this morning... 4 a.m.) I was wide awake and thinking... you popped into my head. I have not been a good friend lately, and then I read your blog and just feel terrible! I am so sorry your ex-friend is being so... uncompassionate again. What a beotch!! I also wanted to tell you happy belated b-day, sister Gemini! I hope this year brings you joy, happiness, and continuous hope.
I miss you!! I'm going to stop by more often! Lets have coffee and chat about Paris and her behind bars affair! :)
Love ya!

Mama Bear said...

Dianne, I'm so sorry. To hear about a friend who has reacted so consistently selfishly and callously to your pain and struggle just makes me sad. And angry for you. I am amazed and inspired by how well you're handling this, but I know you must be hurting inside.

Know you are a beautiful person. And I hope that you will (or have) found other true and reliable friendships that can help you through this.

thinking of you...

Leah said...

Thank you for sharing the painful details of this friendship demise. It really helps to know that when I am struggling with things like this, I am not alone.

I worry all the time that I have become a one-trick pony, a joy sponge that sucks happiness out of the room, an incessant droning whiner about IF. I worry that I will drive well-meaning friends away. But then I realize that I have not always been like this, nor will I always BE like this, and a true friend would understand that.

At least that's what I'm hoping...

Sorry that you friend still had the ability to hurt you. You don't need this kind of drama on top of all the other shit we have to deal with in our lives these days!

CAM said...

Thank you for your honesty in your friendship posts. We all struggle with people who just don't "get it." And, you did the right thing. You have to focus on YOU and what is good for you and your sanity. The phrase that I repeat to myself is that my decisions are not based on selfishness, they are based on self-preservation. Have you ever watched the online movie "Empty Arms" is intended to help friends and family understand what we are going through.
Just know that you did the right thing! :)

mandolyn said...

Hooray for the good and the grand. And good riddance to the ugly. I think you've done all that you can.

"Farewell to old friends, let's raise a glass to the bitter end..." I swear, the Chicks have a song for everything.

KarenO said...

Like mandolyn said, hooray for the good and the grand and about the ugly... just chalk it up to experience, not a good one, but you learned a valuable lesson!

Turtle_Dove said...

D.- I have been following your blog all along. I am very proud of you for the amazing strengths you have displayed in so many aspects of your life. I will follow up with you on a more personal level very soon. I promise. - L

Anonymous said...

L? is that you?? How have you been?

I totally agree...forgiveness can happen, but being able to forget is something else.

Anonymous said...

Hope you don't mind me stoping by?? Give me time to do some reading and I would love to be a permanent visitor.

Lollipop Goldstein said...

Thank you :-) Especially for making me the great rather than the ugly...

The lost friendships are one of the most painful aspects of IF/loss. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

Ann said...

Dianne, it sounds like this has all been very painful. I, too, have had problems in the past with toxic friendships. My suggestion (or assvice, whatever you want to call it)--let this die. It sounds like the two of you have hurt each other enough, and you need to continue to keep apart from each other. Posting on a blog is different from putting thoughts in a Pensieve, because it's public. And accessible.

I'm very, very sorry you have been so hurt by all of this. But it's unfair to both of you to keep bringing all this up in a public forum.

Best of luck with your 2ww!

LJ said...

Oh Diane,

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Just remember, you are loved. You are loved very much.