but the one thing that seems to come out is my latest bought of infertility sadness.
Really, my blog represents me. And I've been to preoccupied to notice any infertility sadness for months. My feelings of happiness, well being, and contentment have been far out waying anything that is remotely sadness. Ironically, I thought I was ready to write about my depression of earlier in the year. How I got a speaking to by T, and somehow have been getting out of that funk.
But, just when I feel like I am doing better. I get whacked.
Four pregnancy and one birth announcements all at once. I guess the blows just get harder and harder. And the feeling of being left behind arises all over again.
Just when I feel like I am getting over this bullshit, the evil forces of the world come to play.
Can't people just get pregnant and have children in the privacy of their own home and leave me out of it?
Because if I were to get pregnant now, I would be angry. Rage would find a new meaning. But, it is still the one thing that I would love to experience. And that is the saddest truth of my life.
Good thing no one is in the office, since I am crying now. The tears are only several weeks late.