The F*CK with you button.

In my early twenties, I started to imagine God sitting on a couch with a clicker. The opposite wall covered with television sets which he was able to change to any channel (representing our lives). He would tune in to specific people's lives when he wanted drama, comedy, etc.

I imagine him looking into my life and thinking there isn't enough FILL IN THE BLANK (w/ drama, comedy, etc.) here. Lets kick it up a notch by hitting the f*ck with you button. It always spices things up.

The longer I am dealing with infertility, the more I think he likes to hit that button. After all, it definitely leaves room for drama, tragedy, comedy, etc.

Really, I do think that God is loving and wants only the best for us. Like a good parent. Often he is just much a spectator as we are, and there to help us thru difficult situations.

But, I sometimes, I can't help but feel he is a little sadistic. Afterall, we humans are supposedly created in his likeness. And there are many people who are sadistic.

Something else to ponder.