Tuesday, May 01, 2007


The shower was fine. Kept myself busy and my mind was with more important things. More family drama going on. Craziness really. Basically, my mother and her siblings are fighting about what to do with my Grandfather. Unfortunately, no one has asked him. And they are all thinking about themselves. But, the commotion may be all for nothing. Considering he is dying. Sadly, he doesn't have much time left. His doctor gives him at most a few months. He can't even go to his doctor, considering that movement may end his life.

Time to say our good-byes. All of the children have their bags packed. My Mom and Dad are leaving tonight to visit.

I'm praying that he isn't experiencing pain and holding on to the fact that he was joking with me on Sunday over the phone. Even in my broken Portuguese, he and I can always share a laugh. Sadly, I want to talk to him and I don't, because if Sunday is my last memory of him, well it would be a good one, and I would like to hold on to that.

How selfish am I, huh? To continue my selfish thought process, I really hope and pray that he doesn't pass away while I am on vacation. I want to be able to go to his funeral and if I am on the cruise ship; well I don't think there will be a way for me to travel to California.

Also, my parents haven’t gotten a chance to tell my sister how serious his situation is and my Mom has asked me to tell my sister today. My only younger sister, who lives in Nantucket. So I can't even do it in person. My sister who was so distraught over Bobby’s death. It is less than five months before her wedding. In the last year we lost Bobby and more than likely will loose our only biological remaining grandparent.

The title – a bit of a tribute to my Grandfather – he loves to play cards. And he most certainly trumped any silly feelings I was having. Ah…life does have that way of doing that doesn’t it?


M said...

I'm sorry about your grandfather. If you read my blog, you know that I've been through my uncle's death in November, and now my aunt on the other side of the fam is dying. There's nothing easy about it. And I don't know what to say, considering nothing anyone has said to me is able to comfort me. Thinking of you.

Nicole said...

Oh, I am so glad that you were able to have a good experience with your grandfather on the phone. You will have that memory forever, I am sure.

PCOSMama said...

I am so sorry! I recently lost my Grandpa too, this past August. Losing a loved one is always so hard! I'm glad that you had a nice conversation with him recently. No matter what happens, it sounds like you will have some great memories.

Try to enjoy your trip - I'm sure he'd want you to!

Mama Bear said...

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your grandfather.

TeamWinks said...

I thinking holding on to good memories does help. It sounds like you adore him. I'm sorry.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I'm wishing your family all the best and hope that things go ok as you tell your sister.

Unknown said...

Thinking of you and your grandfather, Dianne.