Everyone else's life is moving forward, while mine remains. My friends all get pregnant easily and have beautiful children within a year. While I have been trying just to get pregnant for almost 3 years.
Everyone else has put their place on the market and had it sold with in several weeks. Our place has been on the market for a month. Eight people have come to see it, but no offers. (I know it is the different market. Blah blah blah.)
Everyone else <
As I held my friend S's new beautiful baby on Sunday, I yearned for my turn. Ached. When T asked me what was wrong, I said "Nothing." Because it isn't anything new. That ach has been there for a long time. But, now it is different. As we get closer to the end of our treatments (only one more to go - if you little eggies don't listen) it is more of never going to happen, instead of it being I hope it happens soon.
And I feel like I am going to only remain more stagnate. My friends and family will continue to have babies. We will eventually sell our condo and get into a new home. We will eventually get our dog. But eventually those things will also become stagnate too. No other life events will occur. At least not the good ones. We will get older, lose jobs, probably find new ones (hopefully this will be good), lose people, etc. But nothing new will come into our lives. No beautiful bundles of joys, that will be for others to enjoy and for us to admire from outside. We will remain in S - L - O - W motion while everyone else runs at normal pace.
Sadly, I'm not only feeling left behind by my real life friends, I'm feeling left behind by my board and blogland buddies. People are making circles around me, while I stand still.
At this point, I am desperate for some kind of change. Something that will allow us to grow. Because that is the worst part for me right now. Staying put. For the maybe, for the what may be.