Friday, August 18, 2006


Yes, fear should be coursing thru your veins. Just kidding. But, honestly, the reason that I haven't written in a few days and for that reason only, I've been thinking.

As my dear T says, "I am always thinking."

But the last few weeks there has been more topics than normal going thru my head.

I'm going to list them, and I will write about them each separately in the next few weeks.

1. My cousin B. I've been thinking tremendously about him. He has been fighting a long battle with a brain tumor. Last December, after his third operation, the doctors determined that his once benign tumor was now malignant. Well, he was just told that his time is short, that he is no longer responding to the medication, and to prepare.

2. My T has asked me to analyze why I want a child. To really look into it and decide if I want one because of society or my family's pressuring me or for other reasons. It has taken me a long week of thinking, and I believe that I've actually analyzed this question completely. (Yes, it takes me that long to analyze.)

3. Secondary Insurance. Currently doing more research on the topic and hoping to have it completed soon.

4. Hope, Peace and Grace.

5. Procedures.

6. Terms. I've been reading a few books and I'm thoroughly confused. What the heck is a subfertile? Yes, this is a term that I found. More to come.

7. Two year anniversary on September 18th. Yes, I remember the exact date that I told T that I wasn't taking the pill any longer, the day that I actually stopped taking the pill and started taking the pre-natal vitamins.

Ok that is it for now.

Side note, I'm currently on CD 28 and 10 DPO. I'm hopeful, in a conservative way, and surprisingly still at peace. Testing sometime next week if there is no indication of the Wicked Witch. If it isn't our cycle, I am hoping that she at least shows before I take a test. I'm sick of seeing a negative test and starting to think that positive tests DO NOT EXIST.


Unknown said...

I've had the same thought before-is there really such thing as a positive hpt? Maybe we're just buying the wrong ones:)

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry your cousin's prognosis changed. Between that and IF,you certainly do have a lot of fodder for some deep thinking.

I'm wishing you peace and more than just a "flutter" of hope. I'm also wishing you a BFP!