Friday, October 19, 2007

I got this email chain today....

Just wanted to tell everyone that I am so grateful to have each of you in my life. I pray you all have a blessed day. It was difficult for me to decide who I thought would DO this because many people claim to pray, but not everyone does. I hope I chose the right twelve. Please send this back to me (You'll see why). May everyone who received this message be blessed REMEMBER to Pray. That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. Just send this to twelve. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. There is no cost just a lot of reward. Make sure you pray, and pray believing God will answer.

May today be all you need it to be. May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight, and conquer all your fears. May God manifest himself today in ways you have never experienced. May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer and your prayers be answered. I pray that faith enters a new height for you; I pray that your territory is enlarged and I pray you step into the destiny within the ministry. I pray for peace, healing, health, happiness, prosperity, joy, true and undying love for God.

Now send this to 12 people within 5 minutes and remember to send this back.... I count as 2, you'll see why. Suggestion: copy and paste rather than forward. Everyone have a blessed day

The highlighted/italized part, I pray - but I never believed he would answer. I hoped he/she would. But, I lost that ability a long time ago. I consider myself a faith-filled person. I have faith in God - I just don't think my issues are his main concern. You know like war, famine, natural disaster.

And I wonder if that is what I did wrong.


Serenity said...

Hon. Before I say anything, I want you to know that I lost my faith in a G-d a long time before IF. And so I might get passionate about this, and if I offend you, I am truly sorry. It's not my intent.

But. I cannot - or will not- believe that there is a G-d out there who PUNISHES people by withholding what they want most. I refuse to believe that abusive people get children when people who are so clearly good, and caring, and wonderful, do not.

Bottom line: YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. This is NOT your fault. You are NOT being punished for not believing, or believing too much, or not being humble enough, or whatever.

This isn't your fault.

It isn't.

Hugs and love to you tonight... and the hopes that your prayers DO get answered someday.


I'm thinking of you.

AwkwardMoments said...

I will chime in also .. No, Bad things happen to bad people, good things happen to bad people, good things happen to good people and bad things happen to good people ... ... I do not rationally like think that this is some form of punishment from a higher power. It is just something that can not be explained .. and that is why it's so hard to accept and understand. Albeit .. it is so hard to NOT feel this way ... I have had these same thoughts many many times over. Thinking of you

Anonymous said...

I don't think God "blesses" people with babies; I think "being blessed" is a state of mind. As a (non-practicing) Catholic, I never considered my misfortunes of infertility as anything significant compared with the horrors of the world at large. Everyone would say "We're praying for you guys," but I couldn't pray for myself. However, recently I prayed for strength to help me find peace, and I felt that I was answered immediately.

One of my friends recommended this new book, "A Dynamic God: Living an Unconventional Catholic Faith." I think I'm going to check it out.

Thinking of you, Dianne.

Aurelia said...

Dianne, I could rewrite everything I wrote about God and what it means for us.

But instead I'm going to tell you to go to my blog and click on the God category. Anyone who tells you that this is gods' will is full of shit and bad theology. And yes, my ex-priest husband helped me write those posts.

And seriously, read up on my post this week about magical thinking. You have done nothing wrong, truly.

You are loved. By me, by God, and all the world. He is weeping about your infertility and holding you in his arms right now. This is not his plan, for any of us.

Samantha said...

I have a friend who loves forwarding those chain emails. Personally, I hate them, as they usually imply that by not forwarding them you will be smote or something. I think others have answered so eloquently my words probably fall out flat: there is nothing you did or left undone, thought or didn't think (I feel like I'm reciting liturgy here) that has anything to do with your treatments not working. I'm not a terribly religious person, and don't have a close relationship with God. But I do not believe any God is out there to punish you, certainly not through some chain letter email.


Searching said...

I don't think there is ANYTHING you could have done to "cause" IF or did something wrong. It's just a remarkably sucky thing that is mean, unfair, unlucky, POS, etc. I'm sorry. :(

Thank you so much for your advice and sharing all your info with me about PCOS. I didn't have my labs drawn on any special day, so maybe that's what I need. And an ultrasound. Sigh, I just don't know, but I do feel so much better knowing I'm not alone. Thanks for helping me.

KarenO said...

This is a very sensitive topic, so if I step on your toes, my apologies. A very good friend of mine had the following answer for me when I talked to him about exactly what you said in your post.

He said: "We live in a broken world, full of heartache and sorrow. God doesn't allow bad things to happen to you, or give us "gifts" in the form of blessings etc. He want us to be dependent on Him for everything single thing we need, every single day. Life is unfair, but God is good."

I don't always feel strong enough to accept this, but as long as I know God is there for me in my sorrow too, life is a little bit easier. But it is a daily battle, and easier said than done. We each have our own way of handling faith.

Thinking of you, hang in there and take care of yourself!

Nica said...

You did nothing wrong.

Anonymous said...

Honey you did nothing wrong. See I have to believe that, b/c if he is punishing you than he is also punishing me and many of my friends.

I can't say that I believe in God anymore. But my faith was never strong to begin with. I would hope that if there was a God he would have more kindness in him than to allow the kind of crap I have been though and seen to happen. I guess that is why I don't believe anymore. I have seen too many bad people get rewards in life and too many good people get punished to believe that there is someone out there controlling all of it.

Bottom line is that you are not being punished, you did nothing wrong, and unfortunately sometimes life just sucks and it's not fair!

Wordgirl said...

I struggle with these things too -- being a person of 'spirituality' -- but someone who left behind her organized religion some time ago --I wonder, I agonize, I worry -- but then I reflect on what remains from my earliest reflections on faith and G-d -- and that is that it is love.

Purely, wholly, love -- and it is humanity, on their own, in their own stumblings, that lose the focus of love.

My thoughts are with you -- I wrestle with these things too.

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