Saturday, February 10, 2007

Oh Yeah, I hate you more! (And thank you!)

Yesterday, I realized that my body hates me just as much as I hate it.

I woke up on Friday in pain. My first thought, "Oh God, I have to go to work. It'll be OK, just fake it. Medicate and fake it."

Did my morning routine, then took M*trin (which usually works) and a Th*rmac*re heat wrap in the front of me.

Got into the car and realized that wasn't enough. Stopped at the grocery store and bought more heating pads. First thing I did when I got to work is to put one on my back too.

Then I started to work. *Beep*Beep*Beep*. Yes, today was going to be a busy day. Boss comes in, needs info. Try to obtain it and more *Beep*Beep*Beep*. (My em@il and inst@antm@ssenger alert me.)

Secretary and 37 week pregnant attorney chatting.

We work in very close quarters, and usually it doesn't bother me. But, the 37 week tummy was buggin me for some reason. Oh yeah, it could be because we were having cake in her honor. The reason I HAD to go to work today! I HAD to buy the cake.

Stayed until one and I couldn't take it any more. I still had several more hours of work. But, I realized that my eyes were tearing. And I didn't know if it was the physical pain (because it didn't subside) or the emotional pain.

So I went home.

I've never taken sick time for really bad cramps, but effectively I did yesterday. And I am reminded that there is a first time for everything. Came home and watched movies. And physically I didn't feel any better, but emotionally I was in a safe place with no extremelly pregnant bellies at eye level.

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Thank you ladies for your virtual hugs, words of support, and helping hand. Emotionally I am doing much better today. Infertility sucks, but the community is B E A U T I F U L. Thank you. (Two little words that mean so much, but yet don't say it all.) I am very grateful for each and every one of you.

6 comments:

Kel said...

I'm sorry for your struggles and wish I knew what to say to make it better. But, I'm sending you lots of good thoughts for a pain-free weekend.

Nicole said...

Good grief your body is in full attack mode, the basturd! Grrr, I will be irritable for you, that way you can rest. ;)

Glad you had the good sense to finally call it a day. I admire that in you. Just found out an enemy of mine is pregnant with her first after she exclaimed how incredibly easy it is to get pregnant. That deserves another grrrrr.

Sending healing thoughts your way, my friend.

The Town Criers said...

Hope you're feeling better now. Sometimes you have to call it a day and go home. And to be honest, I think that was pretty amazing of you to stop for the cake. I am embarrassed to admit that I didn't go to a teacher's baby shower in the building because I was too deep in mourning to be happy for her. Sometimes you need to do what you need to do to protect your heart and get through the day.

Joei said...

I'm glad you are feeling better! Have you seen The Devil Wears Prada? If not, I'll come over and we can watch it. We can even eat cake if you want to!! :)

Cathleen said...

I hope your feeling better today. What a crappy week...

TeamWinks said...

You know, I never thought about putting a heating pad on my back too. You are on to something there. I guess with a tipped uterus, that would be pretty darn helpful. Good call!

Sorry to hear about the day. It does sound pretty crummy. Wish I could do something to help.