Say it with me.

THE SERENITY PRAYER

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful worldas it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things rightif I surrender to His Will;That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with HimForever in the next.Amen. --Reinhold Niebuhr

In this most recent cycle, I've been reciting this prayer over and over. When I was taking the clomid, when I POAS to detect the LH surge, when I detected the LH surge, when we took full advantage of the ovulation, and now during the wait for the progesterone test.

At this point, I would be grateful for an inconclusive result so that all hope is not lost. Wishful thinking, this will be the first time my body gives me a conclusive answer with my luck. I hate waiting.

Findings

Well, the RE appointment was this morning. She spent an hour reviewing all of my tests, and kept me in the waiting room while she did so. When she came to get me from the waiting room, she had made her medical mind up, and only spent 10 minutes explaining her findings.

I have. Drum roll, please. I have an "indication of PCOS because of my high testosterone." But, I don't have any of the other symptoms and all of my other tests came back normal.

OK, so not as cut and dry as I hoped. Like you definitely have PCOS. But, relief that I don't have any tumors. Actually, she was the one who said it. (For this reason, I really like my RE becuase she goes along with my crazy thoughts before I say them out loud.)

There is nothing to fix my testosterone imbalance. It is the way I was made. GO NATURE, please note, sarcasm has been added.

The plan for the next six months is the following. Three months of Clomid at 100 mg and good old fashioned s*x. If this doesn't work, I move onto Clomid or injectibles for three months with IUI. If this doesn't work, we reevalutate.

My homework is to look into supplemental fertility insurance to cover IUIs. She likes to give me homework.

Also, she checked my progesterone. The results should be here tomorrow. If they are low or non-existent, that means negative on the pregnancy this cycle, but that the Wicked Witch will be coming. If high, I should keep my fingers crossed. Hoping for the second :).

Monday!

YIPPEEE! The RE appointment is Monday. Only 70 hours away. I will be going sans T. But, I am so excited to find out what is wrong with me or the next test, that I am OK going without him.

(Yes, it is confirmed that I am nuts, since I am more concerned with naming the problem than the potential aftermath of finding out what is wrong with me. One step at a time.)

CD 26, DPO 6, and still optimistic. Everything is good. And it is Friday!

The things I do during the two week wait.

Yes, I have a pattern for my two week wait too. Once I share, you will have no doubt that I am ultimately just as insane as my mother. I say that with love. But, alas here it is, chuckle with me people.

1. Using the babycenter.com calculator, I check to see when this child would possibly be born. This opportunity, March 31 - April 2.
2. Study twoweekwait.com for any clue.
3. Constantly check the Vent board. And lurk on other boards as well.
4. Research various random items; such as safe cold medicines, strange pains on my left side, extreme thirst, etc.
5. Blog and also lurk.
6. Eat pineapple.
7. Abstain from alcohol.
8. Only have one small coffee. No other caffeinated drink is allowed.
9. Crochet as therapy.
10. If it is a really hopeful cycle and very late in the two week wait, I look online at potential nursery items and names.
11. Sleep on my left side.

At DPO 3, I've only done 1, 5, 7, 8, and 11. Not bad! Number 6 will happen later this afternoon.

CD 22, DPO 2

Not feeling completely obsessive yet. Yes, this is a small accomplishment. But, it should be noted.

Feeling very content that we have a chance this cycle. An opportunity that it could happen. Yes, this makes me feel happy.

T is exhausted, if I am to be truthful, so am I. A marathon is work, despite how pleasing it is!

Also talked to the nurse at the RE's office about the weekend surge, turns out that I could have just called and come in on Sunday and Monday for the IUIs. But, she agreed that since we haven't had our review of our exams it may be more productive to wait. (After all it will be coming out of our pocket.) I asked if I needed a progesterone test to determine if my fertility machine and ovulation predictor were correct. (Yes, I realize how obsessive that sounds.) She said that it would be a good thing to ask the RE, with my history, at my appointment. Also, if the Wicked Witch doesn't show by the 25th, I am to call for a pregnancy test on the 26th. Little does she now, that if the Wicked Witch showed that soon, cycle day 38, I would have a minor heart attack!

So, I must wait seven days, Monday to get my medical diagnosis. And, 16 days for the all important pregnancy test.

The wait is the killer. Oh boy, what will I do with my time. The same thing I always do. No worries, I will fill you in soon. :)

Emotional Roller Coaster - A Pattern

I’ve found a pattern in my emotional well being. It coincides with my hormones/menstrual cycle. (Granted this is in my non-medical opinion.)

Cycle Day 1-7

Hopeful that this maybe “THE” cycle. After 13 cycles, I am ALWAYS hopeful in the beginning and overall happy. I can tolerate the PREGNANT ARMY and overall a joy to be around.

Cycle Day 8-38

If on Clomid, I am cranky and forgetful. Usually lasts from cycle day 9 to 25. Obsessive over the LH surge, slight twinges, possible signs of ovulation or conception. Fairly content in the beginning, with progressive mood swings as time continues.

The mood swings usually start around cycle day 28 when the fertility monitor tells me that there is no hope of ovulating and hopelessness comes to visit. Anger which can be directed at anyone, no one is safe.

If ovulation occurs, generally in a good mood and hopeful!

Cycle Day 39-50

If ovulation did not occur, I feel broken, frustrated, depressed, sense of loss, and hopelessness. Hate the PREGNANT ARMY. Try to stay home to avoid all pregnant people. After all it isn’t there fault that they are cool, hip and trendy!

If ovulation does occur, attempt to remain hopeful and optimistic that this may actually be the cycle. Around cycle day 40, I start the home pregnancy tests. So far has caused only true sadness.

Ovulation Please

Yes, I am waiting patiently to ovulate. (Sarcasm) What fun!

I pee on a stick (POAS) in the morning for the fertility monitor and on a ovulation predictor at night. There is hardly a chance that I will miss the surge. At least this is what I tell myself. After all if I don't detect the surge, than there definitely will not be an IUI or exactly timed intercourse, and I can't let this happen.

I've used the monitor since January. It only detected a surge once in that entire time. It has no problem in detecting my estrogen increase. The estrogen has been detected every cycle except for one. However, since I can ovulate between cycle day 13 and 38. The monitor directs me to stop POAS on or about cycle day 28. I've learned that I must continue to use the ovulation predictors basically until I see the Wicked Witch. Also, since the monitor is only used in the morning and many people experience the surges in the afternoon, I am also forced to test at night as well by using the ovulation predictors.

The estrogen elevations are also interesting. Mostly because it never detected a spike during my first cycle of Clomid at 50 mg. However, during this cycle of Clomid at 100 mg, it has detected my elevated estrogen levels since cycle day 12 which gives me some hope that I may ovulate this cycle in a timely manner.

So say it with me. PLEASE, OH PLEASE, LET ME OVULATE IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS. I will leave out the part about me and T having s*x on that day too.

Ovulation Predictor Kits

Q: What is an ovulation predictor kit (OPK)? What does it tell me?

A: An OPK is a test that looks for luteinizing hormone (LH). Just prior to ovulation, women experience a short surge where the LH level rises to a higher level. The OPK will help you pinpoint this surge and help you predict when you will ovulate.

Q: Which OPK is best?

A: It seems that Clearplan Easy is probably the easiest to find, and that Clearplan and OvuQuick are the ones most discussed on the newsgroups. Many people post that their reproductive endocrinologists recommend Clearplan or OvuQuick. For more information on OPKs you can check the Consumer Reports. You may want to try a couple of different tests and see which one works best for you.
There are between 5 and 9 tests per kit, and the average cost is $3-$7 per test. Expect to pay $15-$70 per month. They are not refillable.

Q: What time of day should I test?

A: The best time to test is 2 p.m., or as close as possible. Anytime between noon and 8 p.m. is fine, first morning urine is not recommended. The reason for this is that most women experience a surge in the morning, but it can take 4 hours for it to show up in your urine.

Make sure to test at about the same time every day.

Q: On what day of my cycle should I start testing?

A: If you have a variable cycle, you should use the date of your shortest cycle in the past six months as a starting time.
CycleLength
StartDay
21 - 5
22 - 5
23 - 6
24 - 7
25 - 8
26 - 9
27 - 10
28 - 11
29 - 12
30 - 13
31 - 14
32 - 15
33 - 16
34 - 17
35 - 18
36 - 19
37 - 20
38 - 21
39 - 22
40 - 23
41 - 24
42 - 25

Q: I have a long cycle, how many days will I have to test?

A: It varies. The best thing to do is figure out the length of your shortest cycle in the past six months, and begin testing on the day mentioned in the chart above. Continuing testing until you detect a surge or have a sustained temperature rise (at least 4 days, and at 0.4 degrees higher than the previous six temps.).
If your cycle varies by a week or so, you can expect to go through up to 10 tests. The more your cycle varies, the more tests you'll need. Example: Your shortest cycle is 28 days and the longest is 42, you would begin testing on day 11, but may need to continue through 20 tests, or even more. Note that this isn't common, but it is possible. About 90% of women will detect a surge within 10 days of testing.
Try not to lose patience and keep on testing . . . you'll learn more about your cycle then if you stop.

Q: Does Clomid cause problems with OPKs?

A: Clomid (Serophene/clomiphene citrate) can cause a false positive in OPKs if taken too soon after finishing the prescription. According to most of the manufacturers you should wait at least 3 days before using an OPK. If you take Clomid days 3-7 you can begin testing on day 10. If you take it 5-9, you should wait until day 12.

Q: Can I use OPKs if I am taking injectable fertility drugs such as Pergonal, Humegon, Repronex, Gonal-F, Follistim, or Fertinex?

A: This is a tough one to answer. Pergonal, Humegon and Repronex are made from LH+FSH and may contain enough LH to cause a false reading, though the FSH-only meds, Gonal-F, Follistim and Fertinex, should not effect testing.
With any of these drugs, patients should have follicle size monitored by ultrasound and then get an HCG trigger to induce ovulation when the follicles are large enough rather than relying on OPKs. Many patients do not have a natural LH surge while on injectable medications. Some doctors will ask you to use OPKs in addition to ultrasound monitoring, but be weary of one who goes only by OPKs.

Q: What if the OPK uses pee-on sticks and I'd rather use a cup?

A: Take a sterile cup, fill it with urine, and dip the stick in for between 5 and 20 seconds. If you need to store the urine for any length of time before testing, consult the package insert to see what your OPK suggests.

Q: How long after my LH surge should I ovulate?

A: Most people will ovulate 12-48 hours after the LH surge is detected, most common is 36 hours after the actual surge. One should get a bit more notice, 24-48 hours, by testing in the afternoon.

Q: Once I detect my LH surge, when should I have intercourse?

A: It's best to have intercourse the day of the LH surge and the two days after. Also consider "insurance" sex for one more day in case you ovulate late. Perfect timing would be to have had intercourse the day before the LH surge as well, but that can be hard to predict for those with an irregular cycle. If you don't know when you might ovulate, having sex every other day from cycle day 10 through a positive OPK. If you are taking your basal body temperature, you should have sex through the first day of your temp rise to make sure you cover all days (though after the rise is usually too late).

Q: How long after my LH surge should I have my insemination?

A: Most doctors will do an intra-uterine insemination (IUI) the day after the LH surge, or about 36 hours after it is detected. With a vaginal insemination, or an intra-cervical insemination (ICI) in someone with good fertile mucus, the day of the surge may be preferable. Many doctors are now doing two inseminations per cycle. Check the IUI FAQ.

Q: If I see any line in the result window, is that a positive?

A: Unlike home pregnancy tests where a line in the result window indicates a positive, OPKs are only positive if the test result line in the same color or darker than the reference line. Refer to the instructions in your test kit to be sure you know which window is which, and whether the line has to be as dark (Clearplan) or darker (OvuQuick).
Test Same ColorPositive Some Brands
Test DarkerPositive All Brands

Q: How come I always have a faint line in the test result window? Does this indicate a problem?

A: We always have LH in our systems, so the test can pick it up. Most of the tests don't show a full positive result until 25-40 mIU, but many will show a faint line with LH levels over 10 mIU. If your result line often has significant color, you should consider trying another brand. If you still get a significant line, you should consider having your doctor test your LH levels on the third day of your next cycle to see if your hormone levels are elevated. FSH levels should be checked at the same time as LH, especially if PCOS is suspected.

Faint LineNormal Result
50% ColorConcern if Daily

Q: What does it mean if my test line gets darker for a day or more before the actual positive?

A: Some women have a fade-in pattern where the test will get darker for a day or two before the positive result. This generally isn't anything to worry about, and may have the benefit of a bit of advanced noticed. If you find you have a fade-in pattern, you should begin having intercourse when the fade-in pattern starts.

35% Color
65% Color
Positive

Q: I have PCOS. Can I still use OPKs?

A: It depends on whether one of your PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) symptoms is elevated LH. You can get some false positives or misleading results. A PCOS patient may have more success tracking ovulation via ultrasound. The only way to know if it is reliable for you is to try it.

Q: I had a positive LH surge, but tested again the following day anyway. It was positive again! What does that mean?

A: This isn't a problem. You may have caught your surge on its way up and on the way down. It is more common to only get one day of positive testing, but it is not uncommon to have two days of a positive tests. Even three days isn't uncommon, but it is worth consulting a doctor in case you have high LH levels.

Q: If I'm taking my basal body temperature, what's the point in doing expensive OPKs?

A: The OPK will tell you when to expect ovulate before it happens, while BBT only tells you after it's over. The thermal shift occurs *after* ovulation in response to increased progesterone production. One your temperature goes up, it's too late to get pregnant. By using OPKs, you'll know before ovulation and can be sure to get your timing right.

Q: If I am doing OPKs, why should I still bother to take my BBTs?

A: There are a couple of reasons why it would be a good idea. The first is so that you can see if your LH surge corresponds properly with your thermal shift. You should shift 1-3 days after your positive OPK, though sometimes it takes as long as five days for those with a slow shift.
Another reason is to make sure your temperatures stay up for at least 10 days after ovulation. Your falling BBT will let you know when your period is starting, but if your temperature stays elevated 18 days past ovulation you should test for pregnancy.

Q: What if I don't detect a surge, but I have a thermal shift?

A: You probably missed your surge. Some people need to test more than once per day. If you've had a test that was half-color and then negative the next day, plus a thermal shift, in your next cycle you should consider testing twice a day (noon and 8 p.m. would be a good choice).
Another possibility is that you didn't hold your urine long enough. Several tests suggest holding urine for 4 hours before checking for LH.

Q: I used an OPK, my timing was perfect, why didn't I get pregnant?

A: It often takes a number of perfectly timed cycles before pregnancy is achieved. The chances of getting pregnant each cycle varies a bit with age. If you are 20-25, your chance per cycle are about 25%. From there they begin to fall off. At 25-30 your chances are about 20%. At 30-35 they are about 15%. After 35 they may be about 10% per ovulatory cycle, and the chances continue the downward trend.
This means that the average woman under 30 will get pregnant within 6 cycles. If you don't succeed after a year, it is a good idea to consult a fertility specialist. Women in their early 30s get pregnant on average by the end of 9 cycles. Mid-30s would be a year. If you are over 35, you should consult a fertility specialist if you have not achieved pregnancy within 6 months. Why 6 months when it can take a year? Because your chances of conception are lower and miscarriage rates are higher -- it is better not to waste time.

Q: What about those re-useable microscope fertility indicators?

A: The fertility microscopes are used to detect a ferning pattern in either your saliva or your fertile mucus. Many women have success with these testa, while others find them hard to interpret. These tests are not as exact as detecting your LH surge -- the fertile window often ends up being about 6 days. Some women with high estrogen levels (many overweight women) will find they appear fertile more often than they actually are.

Q: Are expensive fertility monitors more accurate than OPKs?

A: The monitors, such as the Clearplan monitor, test estrogen and LH. They tell you when you are not fertile, fertile, and then peak fertility. Like OPKs, they may not be as reliable in women with PCOS, and there cost may be prohibitive to those just starting out. The Clearplan monitor usually can be found for about $180 with 20 test sticks. Replacement test strips cost a bit over $1 each.

Is TTC my obsession?

Yes, I believe that it is an obsession. I am currently on cycle day 16. In trying to conceive (TTC) terms that is prime ovulation time especially since I took the Clomid this cycle. The Clomid, if working effectively, should kick in between 3 and 7 days after the last pill is consumed. This is exactly the time frame that I am in since I took the pills cycle days 5-9 at night. Since my sister has been in the hospital and I refused not to be there for her. I have been using ovulation predictor kits at the hospital and at my parents' house. Yes, this is bazzar.

Hence my contemplation that TTC has become an obsession. I refuse to let myself have a LH spike without it being detected. This may be a problem indeed.

The Hormones in action when a woman ovulates.

When a woman ovulates, various hormones in her body are synchronized to prepare her for ovulation, fertilization and implantation. Ovulation occurs approximately 10-12 hours after the LH peak. Here are the primary hormones involved in ovulation in women:

1. Progesterone - The ovaries produce significant amounts of progesterone during the 2 weeks or so that follow ovulation. Progesterone thickens the nutrient-rich endometrium in preparation to receive a fertilized egg. It also acts on the breasts to prepare them for milk production (lactation).

2. Estrogen – Estrogen is produced in increasing quantities prior to ovulation, helps the uterus rebuild its lining (or endometrium) after menstruation. In addition, estrogen and progesterone also act as feedback controls on the brain hormones LH and FSH. In other words, these sex hormones travel to the brain to increase or decrease LH and FSH production. This feedback mechanism helps to regulate the timing and the events of the menstrual cycle.

3. Estrogen and progesterone are both made primarily in the ovaries from cholesterol. Initially, the ovaries use cholesterol to derive progesterone and the male sex hormone testosterone. Then the ovaries convert a good portion of the progesterone and almost all of the testosterone into estrogen. After ovulation occurs, more progesterone is made than can be converted; consequently, significant amounts of progesterone are secreted only during the latter half of the cycle.

4. LH- The LH surge is initiated by a dramatic rise of estradiol produced by the preovulatory follicle. The LH surge occurs 34 to 36 hours prior to ovulation and is a relatively precise predictor for timing ovulation. The LH surge stimulates luteinization and stimulates the synthesis of progesterone responsible for the mid cycle FSH surge. Also, the LH surge stimulates resumption of meiosis and release of ovum.

5. FSH- Estradiol levels fall dramatically immediately prior to the LH peak. Elevated FSH levels at this time are thought to free the ovum from the follicular attachments. Progesterone is responsible for stimulating the mid cycle rise in FSH. The mechanism causing the postovulatory fall in LH is unknown. The decline in LH may be due to the loss of the positive feedback effect of estrogen, due to the increasing inhibitory feedback effect of progesterone, or due to a depletion of LH content of the pituitary from downregulation of GnRH receptors.

Find out what is ovulation and what are the physical signs of ovulation.

Clomid/Clomiphene Challenge Test

A clomiphene challenge test is a dynamic type of test that can discover some cases of poor ovarian reserve that are still showing a normal day 3 FSH.

This test is done by:
1. Obtaining a day 3 FSH and estradiol
2. The woman takes two tablets of clomiphene (100 mg) on days 5-9 of the cycle
3. Repeat an FSH level on day 10 of the cycle

The normal test would show a low FSH on day 3, a low estradiol on day 3 and also a low FSH on day 10.

Cut off values for the day 3 and the day 10 FSH values are very lab dependent and must be determined by experience with the laboratory being used. In other words, only your infertility specialist can interpret your results.

HSG and Miscellaneous

The HSG is done! It went really well. All of the reproductive organs are in order. The tubes are clear and the uterus is normal. Thank God for the doctor, he was great. Kept me talking the whole time so I didn't notice what he was doing. Then he went through each of the x-rays to explain them to me.

Feels good to have that one out of the way.

Also spoke to the nurse in more detail about the blood work. It seems that the majority of it has been completed except for the genetic and insulin resistant tests. All of the others are normal except for the testosterone.

Tomorrow is my day 10 labs.

Tonight is also the last night for the Clomid.

Feeling good. Progress, that is what I am feeling. We are very close to naming it. Once it is named, than we move on and tackle it with knowledge and overcome the obstacles. Yes, this is an excellent feeling.

The Afternoon

The rest of the day was fine. A nurse from the RE's office called and only gave me partial information on the bloodwork. For the most part it was good news. My FSH was only in the 5 range. Anything under 10 is good, the insurance requires that it be lower than 13. So, very good. My LH hormone was slighlty higher than the FSH, but not that much. The only thing that was of note was my testosterone. So, like myself, I have begun the investigation.

Other than the information that I have shared below, the other thing that I've found is what high testosterone does. Basically, when your testosterone is low, the LH hormone increases to increase the testosterone. Since my body has too much testosterone, it isn't producing the LH hormone. The LH hormone is fairly important because it is the hormone that triggers ovulation. Basically, my eggs never mature because of the hormone imbalance.

Also the information that I have found come back to PCOS.

More later.

Testosterone

Per my blood work, I have high testosterone at 88.7. The norm, for day 3, is 6-86 ng/dl
Most would consider a level above 50 to be somewhat elevated.

Some information. Thank you WebMD in advance. Please note that I have deleted all references to males, because I am female and this is my unprofessional investigation into myself.

Testosterone

Test Overview

A testosterone test measures the level of this male hormone (androgen) in the blood. Testosterone affects sexual features and development. In both men and women, testosterone is also produced in small amounts by the adrenal glands; and, in women, by the ovaries.

The release of testosterone is controlled by a hormone called luteinizing hormone, or LH, which is produced by the pituitary gland (see an illustration of the pituitary gland). When the testosterone level is low, the pituitary gland releases LH, which increases the amount of testosterone produced by the testicles.

Most of the testosterone in the blood is attached to a protein called sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG). A small amount is attached to albumin. The unattached, or "free," testosterone may be measured when conditions that can increase SHBG (such as obesity or hyperthyroidism) are present. Free testosterone can also be calculated from SHBG and albumin levels. Usually this is done only at large medical centers.

Why It Is Done

A test to measure testosterone can be done to:

Evaluate why a woman is developing male features, such as excessive facial and body hair (hirsutism) and a deep voice.
Evaluate irregular menstrual periods in women.

How To Prepare

No special preparation is required before having this test. Your health professional may recommend a morning blood test, when testosterone levels are highest.

A testosterone test measures the level of this male hormone (androgen) in the blood.

Normal
Normal values may vary from lab to lab.

Women:
less than 100 ng/dL

Women:
less than 10 pg/mL


High values

In women, a high level of testosterone may indicate a tumor of the ovaries or adrenal glands or polycystic ovary syndrome.

What To Think About

Most of the testosterone in the blood is attached to a protein called sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG). The unattached, or "free," testosterone may be measured when conditions that can increase SHBG (such as obesity or hyperthyroidism) are present. Usually this is done only at large medical centers.

A low LH level and an abnormally low or high testosterone level may indicate a problem with the pituitary gland.

Credits

Author Jan Nissl, RN, BS
Editor Susan Van Houten, RN, BSN, MBA
Associate Editor Lila Havens
Primary Medical Reviewer Caroline S. Rhoads, MD

- Internal Medicine
Specialist Medical Reviewer Alan C. Dalkin, MD

- Endocrinology
Last Updated July 2, 2004

Shopping

I like clothing. For the most part, I enjoy buying clothing. To be completely honest, I love shopping for shoes and purses more. But, that is a story for another day. Lately, I have found that I don’t buy clothing for events when I see the great outfit, I procrastinate. Why you ask?

Well, let me attempt to explain.

For example, two weekends ago, I went shopping. I entered a store and I saw five dresses that I loved. I need a dress for my friend’s wedding in September, so it would make sense to try some on, especially because when I start looking for one in August, they won’t have any. Nope, I refuse too.

You ask why?

I’m crazy. I refuse to purchase clothing three months ahead of anything, because I may get pregnant. OFCOURSE!

Yes, this is sad. But, it is also funny. If you think how crazy I am, you’ll laugh too!

My Morning

This morning got up, feeling fine. I take the antibiotic. Start to get ready for the day. Brush my teeth and start to gag. OK, not good. So, I eat some crackers to try and settle my stomach. I get in the shower. Get out, the stomach is not feeling right. So, I go back into the kitchen, because I remember we have gingerale. I don't even get to the gingerale, before I gag again. This time, I couldn't stop myself. Vomited, luckily I did make it to the toilet.

After that I felt better and finished getting ready. Called the doctor's office to find out what I needed to do. The nurse called me back , basically told me to take it on a full stomach, not a small meal such as directions.

Got to the car and noticed that my right front tire was only half full with air. Took it to the mechanic up the street. He looked at all 4 of my tires and told me that they were bald. Also, he took the right front tire off and checked it for leaks etc. He couldn't find anything wrong. Filled it with air and sent me on my way.

Called the dealer since my car isn't even 3 years old and only has 38K miles. Turns out that the tires/warranty are only 40K mile tires. So, simply put, I am out of luck.

FYI, my afternoon is much better.

Let Go, Let God

A retreat phrase. I used it frequently, especially when the retreat participants would want to know what was coming up next, and I didn't want to spoil the fun.

It seems to be a good idea, and excellent way to live. To letting him guide me, every day. For me, I struggle with this idea of giving up total control. After all, I am lover of history. I know about the Crusades and it really didn't work for them.

Therefore, my conclusion that there must be a balance. I must do everything in my power and ultimately let God take care of it. Yes, this is more me.

What does that mean?

1. I go to the reproductive endocrinologist. (CHECK)
2. I undergo whatever is needed to be diagnosed. (IN PROCESS OF COMPLETION)
3. Consider all medical procedures that reproductive endocrinologist suggests and make an educated decision. (Waiting for diagnosis.)
4. Do everything in my power.

OK, this doesn't sound like I am Letting Go or Letting God. Let me explain the thought process.

I believe that God gives us opportunities, pathways to finding what we need to sustain us. In my case, what I need is to get pregnant and have a healthy baby. This is my goal. He knows me well enough to know that I am not doing this out of bad intentions and that I am pure of heart with this goal, therefore I think that he will open my eyes to the correct path.

He has made me aware of the reproductive endocrinologist and I should take full advantage of her knowledge that she has gained through God. (See, yes there is a connection there too, he has given her the power and the desire to learn these things and process the knowledge she has to aid women such as me.)

God has also allowed Medical Science to be. It holds the mystery of what nature has incorrectly done with in me. Therefore, undergoing testing, is also productive.

Once the diagnosis occurs, I must make the decision of procedures. Well, to be honest, I haven't really contemplated too much on how far I am willing to go. If the procedure only effects me, I am more than willing to do it. Anything, that means medication and surgery. I am willing to try the knowledge that God has given to the Medical World.

Ultimately, whatever happens, it will still be in God's hands.

If the IUI occurs, yes it provides a 31% chance, but it is not a guarantee. Neither does any other procedure. The baby will still be a miracle of God. So, I guess, I do live: Let Go and Let God.

Day 3 Labs - Done

Eleven vials later, day 3 labs are done. I will be just fine with a little patience and iron riched foods.

Also, day 10 labs consist of the same tests completed for day 3. At least for those, my period shouldn't be around.

Oh boy, where is T with my burger.

WHAT THE RE THINKS I HAVE

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome is a common disease, which can cause symptoms such as irregular periods, excessive facial or body hair, acne, infertility, irregular spotting and obesity.

Just because you have PCOS does not mean that you are infertile. Many women with PCOS fall pregnant naturally, whereas others require some level of medical assistance to help ovulation to occur regularly. You can have polycystic ovaries without having PCOS.

Getting A Diagnosis: PCOS is normally diagnosed through an ultrasound and/or blood tests.

Polycystic ovaries tend to have a string of many small cysts around their edges, which show up on an ultrasound.

You may have any of the following blood tests:
· Full blood count, to check that you are not anaemic
· Thyroid function
· Testosterone, as many women with PCOS have a raised level of testosterone
· Luteinsing Hormone (LH) which can be raised in PCOS sufferers
· Follicle Stimulating Hormone (FSH). You might also be offered an oral glucose tolerance test as many women with PCOS have raised levels of the hormone insulin and have a tendency towards insulin resistance

Treatments: Some GPs offer women the birth control pill as a treatment for PCOS and the brand Dianette is often offered to women who have problems with acne or excessive body hair.

Clomid or Clomiphene Citrate is often offered to women who are not ovulating and who wish to become pregnant. If Clomid does not work, then injectable hormones may be used which stimulate the ovary to produce eggs.

Metformin is another drug, which can be used either alone or together with Clomid. It improves insulin sensitivity and can also help with weight loss and help ovulation. It can have side effects such as nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, and abdominal bloating.

Laparoscopic Ovarian Diathermy (Ovarian Drilling) is another treatment, which is more suitable for women who are close to their ideal body weight. It involves a laparoscopy with a general anaesthetic and is performed as day surgery. Small holes are made in the cysts of the ovary using a probe or laser. It can restore ovulation and make the ovary more sensitive to hormones.

Helping Yourself: Weight loss is the first and most effective treatment for PCOS. A weight loss of 10% is usually enough to re-start periods or make them regular and ovular. Women with PCOS who are significantly overweight are more likely to have difficulty conceiving, are more likely to miscarry and more likely to develop gestational diabetes in pregnancy and maturity-onset diabetes (Type II) in later life.

A low-fat, high fibre diet is most effective for aiding weight loss in PCOS, but sufferers must be patient and persistent, as safe and permanent weight loss can be slow and difficult to achieve.

Many women have found that their symptoms are reduced by eating healthily, drinking more water, reducing alcohol consumption, giving up smoking and taking regular exercise.

Alternative Therapies: Some women have found the following alternative therapies helpful; acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal medicine, homeopathy and reflexology.

Thanks again, iVillage, you have most informative.

WHAT IS CLOMID?

Clomid or Clomiphene Citrate is often prescribed to women who are having problems ovulating. It is unusual to be prescribed Clomid for over 6 months, although some women use it for up to 12 months. Some women are prescribed Clomid to help regulate their cycles, even though they may already be ovulating.

It is normally taken between days 2 and 6 of your cycle, although some doctors suggest taking it on slightly different days. The lowest dose is normally 50 mg a day. This can be increased if your body does not respond appropriately.

Clomid stimulates your hormone system into helping an egg grow. It tricks your body into producing more follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) because it is an anti-oestrogen. At high doses the anti-oestrogenic effects may affect cervical mucus (making it thicker and stickier) or the endometrium (making it thinner and less receptive).

Some women experience side effects such as breast tenderness, hot flushes, minor abdominal discomfort and moodiness. If you have very bad nausea, vomiting, abdominal bloating, pain or problems with your sight, you should see your GP. There is a slightly increased risk of multiple pregnancies when on Clomid (10 percent).

You will normally be offered a Cycle Day 21 blood test, to check that ovulation has occurred. Some clinics will offer you an ultrasound scan a few days after you have finished the treatment to see how your follicles are developing. Some studies have suggested that prolonged usage of Clomid may increase the risk of developing ovarian cancer later in life, but this may be because women who are anovular and do not conceive are at a higher risk of ovarian cancer anyway.

Thank you again, iVillage.