Friday, July 07, 2006

Emotional Roller Coaster - A Pattern

I’ve found a pattern in my emotional well being. It coincides with my hormones/menstrual cycle. (Granted this is in my non-medical opinion.)

Cycle Day 1-7

Hopeful that this maybe “THE” cycle. After 13 cycles, I am ALWAYS hopeful in the beginning and overall happy. I can tolerate the PREGNANT ARMY and overall a joy to be around.

Cycle Day 8-38

If on Clomid, I am cranky and forgetful. Usually lasts from cycle day 9 to 25. Obsessive over the LH surge, slight twinges, possible signs of ovulation or conception. Fairly content in the beginning, with progressive mood swings as time continues.

The mood swings usually start around cycle day 28 when the fertility monitor tells me that there is no hope of ovulating and hopelessness comes to visit. Anger which can be directed at anyone, no one is safe.

If ovulation occurs, generally in a good mood and hopeful!

Cycle Day 39-50

If ovulation did not occur, I feel broken, frustrated, depressed, sense of loss, and hopelessness. Hate the PREGNANT ARMY. Try to stay home to avoid all pregnant people. After all it isn’t there fault that they are cool, hip and trendy!

If ovulation does occur, attempt to remain hopeful and optimistic that this may actually be the cycle. Around cycle day 40, I start the home pregnancy tests. So far has caused only true sadness.


Joei said...

Hey babe! I am enjoying your blog!! I found the "friend" one. I feel blessed to be your cyber friend! What an awesome person you are! You will soon be blessed with a little one of your own...
You might like this...

Joei said...

p.s. Darn that stupid pregnant army!! They are definitly in full force as of late!

Esperanza said...


Thank you so much for that, it was beautiful.