Thursday, July 20, 2006

Starting to feel....CRAZY

Yes, I am officially feeling my cheese slip off my cracker.

Yes, I knew that this might happen, especially since I have so much hope.


There is this commercial for an infertility clinic about this woman who is trying to conceive, but alas having a hard time of it. She goes on a business trip and while on the plane, she sees a beautiful baby girl. She can't help but staring at this baby. She eventually gets the courage to ask the baby's name, Hope. It turns out that she is successful in becoming pregnant.

Well, Hope, is cruel. For how much hope I have, I also know that she has led me down this road before. I don't want to be this hopeful. I still need/want some realism. Some doubt. And believe me, it is here.

I've been feeling slight cramps and this morning a drop of spotting. Why, oh why? At cycle day 32, it would be a miracle to get my period this early. (Yes, it is just as much of a miracle when I get my period in a timely manner.) So it leaves me in a very hopeful phase. But, I still need to have some caution in my optimism.

God grant me Serenity....

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