Wednesday, June 14, 2006

When Bad Things Happen To Good People

This is one of my favorite books. The theory behind the book, my synopsis, that nature and people cause the bad things, that God is there to get us through them. The theory I love. But I also struggle with it.

During my teens, I knew this amazing person. She was terminally ill with cystic fibrosis. I say she was amazing because despite the knowledge of her impending death, she choose to live and fight for as many days as she could and excel while doing it. In her final months of life is when I started to pray.

Now, I admit that I had prayed before, but never with a clear purpose such as for my friend's life to be saved. That is what I prayed for, that she be saved. To be pain free and to be saved.

Well, she and I got the pain free :S. Heck, if you think about it, she also got to be saved.

This is when my first trials and tribulations in faith started.

Soon after, within a month of each other, I had another friend, age 20, find out that he had a tumor in his knee and a cousin, age 10, find out that he had a brain tumor.

Now, my prayers had graduated. I prayed for their lives to be saved, so that we, insignificant mortals, have a little while longer with them here on Earth. (I got a reprieve with the first before he died two years later. Luckily, my cousin has been fighting an amazing eleven year battle and continues to win. I pray for him daily.)

So, the book talks about nature and how it causes the bad things, but in and of its self, it is not a bad thing, but neutral.

As a Catholic, I am taught that all things are controlled by God.

Now, how am I to interpret this, nature; genes, illness, natural disasters are responsible for all the bad things that happen. (I'm leaving human choice out of the equation at this point, way too much to think about.) So, you can't blame God. He is there to give us strength in living through the ordeals.

Yes, I believe this....but why is it that I still pray for my cousin to be saved and for myself to be given a chance at conceiving despite of all the evidence that this may never happen.

Miracles.....yes, I pray for them too.

The book does say that they happen. Miracles do happen everyday. I agree with this too. It goes on to say that miracles are sometimes so small that you cannot see them immediately. I agree with this too.

So, what is my problem with the book?

My problem is, than who do you blame? Yes, I feel like I need a responsible individual. Who do you yell at? Who do you demand answers from?

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